Against Texas, Oklahoma’s defense proved it’s the real deal


Oklahoma’s never been known for it’s defense, unless of course the defense completely soiled the bed. Drunken late night Taco Bell defecating. Throw those sheets away and buy new ones.

Think back to the Georgia game in the Rose Bowl during Bake Mayfield’s final season in Norman, Okla. The Sooners couldn’t stop the run to save their lives (317 yards), a stat that was punctuated by a 27-yard game-winning touchdown run by Sony Michel that gave the Bulldogs the win in the third overtime.

Coming into this season, there were two questions facing Oklahoma: What would the new defense look like underneath first-year defensive coordinator Alex Grinch and how would the new defense fair against an offense that was, well, worth a damn?

The first quarter of the season answered the first question. The game against Texas last weekend answered the latter.

By the numbers

Texas QB Sam Ehlinger completed about 68% of his passes for 210 yards, which is a farily solid stat-line. However, the Sooners defense kept the Texas’ passing game to a minimum. The Longhorns average pass attempt was around five yards. It’s average pass completion was around eight yards.

Those value of those averages rose because of a second-half surge by Texas because in the first half, Oklahoma hardly allowed the Longhorns to move the ball.

First drive

The first drive set the tone for the defense and Texas’ conservative approach didn’t help the Longhorns any.

Before the ball was even snapped, defensive back Brendan Radly Hiles recognized the eventual swing pass and made a beeline for the receiver. While he didn’t make the tackle, Radley-Hiles cleared the path for the three other Sooners behind him to make the tackle-for-loss, the first of 16 on the afternoon.

On this play, I believe Texas tried to sell a decoy fake to Ehlinger’s right. At the top of the screen, you can see a wide receiver shuffle toward the sideline for a screen pass, an “option” Ehlinger doesn’t even look toward, so the defense doesn’t buy it. Even if it was a real option, the safety playing man over the receiver came down almost immediately.

The real play came near the bottom of the screen to receiver Devin Duvernay, who runs a 1-yard comeback route. The original design was to have Duvernay run behind three offensive linemen at the second level. But the linemen are slow to get there. This allows linebacker Kenneth Murray to go unblocked to make the tackle for no gain.

This is just an impressive spin move by nose tackle Neville Gallimore. Off the snao, Gallimore beats the center who his helpless in the defensive lineman’s pursuit of Ehlinger and the eventual sack. It was the first of Oklahoma’s nine sacks on the afternoon.

Sack lunch

As stated earlier, the Sooners racked up nine sacks. Eight different sooners dropped Ehlinger for a loss, including defensive backs like Pat Fields.

Of all the play calls Grinch had on Saturday afternoon, this was by far my favorite.

Grinch lines up six in the box and actually sends a seventh pass-rusher from the defensive backfield. What’s great about this play is that Ehlinger doesn’t even see Fields coming until he’s about to break the through the pocket. Ehlinger actually looks at Fields right before defensive back wraps him up. Great call and great execution.

Kenneth Murray

Murray, who leads the Sooners with 42 tackles, played maybe his sharpest game of the year against the Longhorns. He rarely missed a tackle and was very keen on recognizing Texas’ plays off the snap.

This play showcases Murray’s raw talent because as he blitzes, the linebacker initially believes the running back is going to get the ball on the RPO. However, Murray is able to recognize in a split second that Ehlinger is keeping the ball and makes a quick cut to change his direction and try to tackle the quarterback. Like Radley-Hiles, Murray misses the tackle but disrupts the play and allows his teammates behind him to make the play.

In Oklahoma’s man protection, Murray already has responsibility for the running back. But off the snap, Murray immediately pursues his man on the swing route and drops him for a loss.

On this play, Oklahoma lines up to show they’re sending six men. But Murray drops back to shadow Ehlinger and one he sees the Texas quarterback make a cut to run left for the scramble, Murray pursues him for the tackle and the third-down stop.

Coming downhill

Texas only racked up 210 passing yards, partially because Oklahoma didn’t allow the Longhorns to gain any yards after the catch. Oklahoma’s man-coverage is so good at meeting receivers at the destination of the catch and wrapping them up.

Oklahoma’s defensive backs, especially their safeties, did such a great job picking up on the play and coming downfield to make the tackle. By the time Ehlinger turns his head to make the throw, Oklahoma already has a safety meeting the receiver at the catch.

Remember the first play of the game? The swing pass that Radley-Hiles wasn’t able to make the tackle on?

Once again, the defensive back was able to immediately pick it up and prevent Ehlinger from dumping the ball off. This allowed for the pass-rush to eventually get to him and bring him down for a big loss.

While Ehlinger went with another swing pass following the sack, I can’t imagine this was the first choice. It was most likely the quarterbacks’ response to the aggressive pass-rush. He can’t take another sack. So, his best option was to give it to his running back who, unfortunately for the Longhorns, was swallowed up by a defender who met him almost immediately after the catch.

Texas actually tied Oklahoma with 24 second half points which helped the Longhorns make it a closer game than what it was. Had it not been for Oklahoma’s defense in the first half, maybe Texas wins this game again. The Sooner offense only scored 10 points in the first half which is uncharacteristic for this years’ team.

But the Sooners’ defense came through when the team needed them. They prevented Texas from taking advantage of empty Sooner drives and kept the Longhorns behind all afternoon.

This was the first true test the Sooners defense faced this year and they passed with flying colors, in my opinion. There’s always work to be done, as Jalen Hurts can attest to. But this is a Sooners defense that’s proven it can hold it’s own against a ranked opponent.

If the Sooners can avoid the trap game loss the rest of the way, the next true test for the defense will come in the College Football Playoff.

McDonald’s doesn’t care about you or your sauce needs


A local Oklahoma City McDonald’s is charging for extra sauces, which is confusing.

Mostly because the Word document taped to the drive-thru window read like someone was trying to say all the words before they ran out of breath.


We are now charging for sauces thasht exceeded what’s provided.

First off, let’s note whoever wrote this is not hooked on phonics. 

Ketchup and mayo is still free if nuggets nor tenders were not purchase one sauce is free any other sauce would be a .27 charge

I don’t know. All I can pull from this is that ketchup and mayo are free if they’re being solely used for nuggets. I can’t tell if tenders are allowed. 

It’s an abysmal letter but more so for the policing of the sauces than of the writing. I can forgive someone typing like any idiot on Facebook. That’s just the way people write now because everyone is now accustomed to being stupid. “LIKE IT MATERS, MY MASSAGE STILL STANDS” writes Debbi from Scottsdale, in response someone correcting the grammar of her negative review of a Chili’s. 

“Awful. You’re food is terible and if you think coming here again no thank you.” 

McDonald’s food is basically the cereal of the fast food world. If you’re having it for dinner that means mom was too tired to cook dinner. She’d rather you have breakfast for dinner or feed you the edible equivalent of cigarettes then give you ungrateful bastards a decent meal. Why should she cook for people who don’t have the common decency to hang up their towels or cough? 

McDonalds remains the king of the fasfood block even with their boring menu. Aside from a revolving door of promotional items, McDonald’s still gives people things like Happy Meals, Big Macs, and burger patties that taste like a cardboard coaster. 

McDonald’s profits have raised slightly the last three fiscal years and continue to rake in billions despite sitting on a tired staple menu and novelty pieces of garbage like the McRib and the Shamrock Shake, the two food staples for people who get excited for shiny objects and people who base their entire personality on going against the grain. 

“THREAD The McRib is actually a good sandwich and doesn’t get enough credit. Here’s why: (1/274).” 

Despite knowing better, I still have to let out my knee-jerk, “drop dead” verbal response whenever I read moronic items like this on Twitter. HR has asked me not to scream “drop dead” while I’m at work, though. So, I usually walk outside and say it next to all the smokers. 

Yet, despite making massive profits, local franchises decide to nickel and dime people out of honey mustard. 

When I rolled up to this McDonald’s in OKC, I was just getting coffee as it’s the only thing on the menu that doesn’t suck. However, I couldn’t help but notice this sign was posted well after the Chic Fil A vs Popeye’s fiasco, a massive free promotion for both franchises. Both Chic-Fil-A and Popeyes make an above-average chicken sandwich and their “war” convinced people to 1) spend money at their restaurants and 2) convince people to defend their product against all others. 

I’m not talking only defending on Twitter. I’m talking about Facebook, Instagram and even YouTube. Food reviewers broke down these chicken sandwiches like they were trying to explain the inner workings of an atom bomb. They gave their final word as if they were Supreme Court justices weighing in on the most complex of issues. 

The Popeyes vs Chic-Fil-A debate provided millions in free promotion. McDonald’s has never and probably will never engage in anything like that. It will, however, continue to make forgettable food and print money. 

McDonald’s won’t even fix the McFlurry machine but God forbid they throw in an extra honey mustard or some sweet and sour.

Abandoning a child isn’t a sound parenting strategy


I’m not a parent, let’s get that out of the way right now. Because if I don’t, I’ll have every parent down my throat in the comments section about how I have no right to comment on parenting since I am not a parent. Which is a ridiculous argument. I don’t need to be an experienced parent to know if you suck at your job or not. it’s the same argument I use when rebuking the McDonald’s drive-thru for screwing up my oder. 

“I asked for a large coffee with three creams.” 


“You gave me a McRib. In July.” 

“Right, well, sorry I’ve been busy with two other orders.” 

If I cared enough about receiving a free cookie with my next value meal purchase, I would have given that employee a poor review on the feedback site printed on the bottom of my receipt. 

But you don’t need to be a parent to recognize bad parenting. For example: pretending your abandoning your child at a location in order to coax them into coming to your present location. 

I don’t remember Marry Poppins singing a catchy showtune about that. 

It happened on a family excursion to the aquairuam during our summer vacation. As the grandchildren (and me, a marriage-less, near-30 year old son) combed the area in search of their toy (or coffee mug), I heard some idiot shout to her child. 


She appeared to be her 50’s and was built like a tree trunk. Jean capris? Of course. A too small backpack? Sure. 

Just imagine what an adult woman from the Lake of the Ozarks looks like and you’re not far off. 

“BYE! BYE!” 

I couldn’t see this child but I saw her mother give a good wave in front of everyone, bidding, what I assume was her young child, a very brief good-bye. 


Either this child was calling her mother’s bluff or she was, in fact, a child. An underdeveloped, little person completely confused why her mom would leave her alone between the plush seals and the ugliest collection of teal T-shirts. 

Regardless, the child — and some common sense — won out, as this Osage Beach Annie Sullivan realized that leaving a child alone was not the best persuasion for obedience.

I’m officially on vacation and these are my plans…


…get absolutely destroyed.

By alcohol. By the sun. By an oncoming jet-ski that I didn’t see because I was too drunk, too sunburn and too dehydrated to notice. It’s vacation time. The rules of society no longer matter to me. I am the last outlaw on the frontier and the world is my domain.

Everything is a bathroom now. I have no time to “use a bathroom” or even “wash my hands.” I am immune to germs, so therefore showers are out the window, too. The lake will be my shower. It will also be my bathroom for No. 1 (or No. 2, YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!).

Life is what you make it and I’m about to make mine a Busch heavy infused whirlwind of barbecue, chips and late night trips to the fridge where I will use my hand like a crane and serve myself handfuls of whipped cream of whatever’s left of the blueberry-strawberry American flag thing everyone recreates from Pinterest. The berries are mushy as hell but I will need their precious vitamins as I am completely living off beer, ground beef and hotdogs.

Every meal is served from the plastic grocery store container it was bought in. Every piece of bread is either burnt from the barbecue pit or soggy from people’s wet hands.

What’s vacation without a night on the town? I can dress professionally when I’m at home. It’s vacation dress-code from here on out. That’s swim trunks, beach ponchos and an enormous sun hat. While the rest of my body shrivels up like a raisin from the sun’s stinging UV poison, my face is perfectly protected by a whicker basket in the shape of a stir fry pan.

I’ll be gone for a week. If you need me, I don’t care. If it’s an emergency, please call SHADY GATORS and ask for Topo Gigio, my vacation name and the name I use when crank calling the one radio show I hate.