Abandoning a child isn’t a sound parenting strategy

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I’m not a parent, let’s get that out of the way right now. Because if I don’t, I’ll have every parent down my throat in the comments section about how I have no right to comment on parenting since I am not a parent. Which is a ridiculous argument. I don’t need to be an experienced parent to know if you suck at your job or not. it’s the same argument I use when rebuking the McDonald’s drive-thru for screwing up my oder. 

“I asked for a large coffee with three creams.” 

“Okay?”

“You gave me a McRib. In July.” 

“Right, well, sorry I’ve been busy with two other orders.” 

If I cared enough about receiving a free cookie with my next value meal purchase, I would have given that employee a poor review on the feedback site printed on the bottom of my receipt. 

But you don’t need to be a parent to recognize bad parenting. For example: pretending your abandoning your child at a location in order to coax them into coming to your present location. 

I don’t remember Marry Poppins singing a catchy showtune about that. 

It happened on a family excursion to the aquairuam during our summer vacation. As the grandchildren (and me, a marriage-less, near-30 year old son) combed the area in search of their toy (or coffee mug), I heard some idiot shout to her child. 

“BYE REAGAN.” 

She appeared to be her 50’s and was built like a tree trunk. Jean capris? Of course. A too small backpack? Sure. 

Just imagine what an adult woman from the Lake of the Ozarks looks like and you’re not far off. 

“BYE! BYE!” 

I couldn’t see this child but I saw her mother give a good wave in front of everyone, bidding, what I assume was her young child, a very brief good-bye. 

“OKAY BYE REAGAN!” 

Either this child was calling her mother’s bluff or she was, in fact, a child. An underdeveloped, little person completely confused why her mom would leave her alone between the plush seals and the ugliest collection of teal T-shirts. 

Regardless, the child — and some common sense — won out, as this Osage Beach Annie Sullivan realized that leaving a child alone was not the best persuasion for obedience.